Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Boobs are out for the taking
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize