This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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