Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
