a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
