Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
