so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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