The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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