bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
