Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize