There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
