I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just want to make out with him forever
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
