Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
