i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So drunk its hurt
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
