That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do vagina's smell?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize