Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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