If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
