its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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