just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
