He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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