After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
