you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
