hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
this beer tastes like vomit already
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
