she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
