Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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