My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I see more hoeing in ur future
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