let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
