Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
