I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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