arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
