Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I need to align my fucking chakras
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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