next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
