The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
