is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
