i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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