the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
