He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
