So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
