sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Randomize
