hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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