I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
