Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
