but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
