im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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