He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
