K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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