I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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