soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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