She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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