i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
