We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
