but the lizard people decide everything anyway
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
