i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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