I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
