New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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