I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
