i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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