Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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