butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
