three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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