I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
