You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
