i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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