This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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