were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
