Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
