Have you finally orgasmed yet?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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